All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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