It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
