Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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