I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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