bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
