They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
