OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
