This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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