11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Tornado booty call.. dedication
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
