they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
