watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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