I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
