She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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