Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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