we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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