i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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