mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
