Too much gin, very little bucket
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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