We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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