We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize