my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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