we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
