I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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