Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
