i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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