Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
