i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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