I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
