dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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