I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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