she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
