I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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