Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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