I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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