sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
