i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
