so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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