was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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