Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
