I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
