Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
