yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
