Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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