I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
