I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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