I puked a lego.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
