Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
