He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
