i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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