grandma shit on top of the toilet
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We just shotgunned beers for America
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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