Is it normal to miss your booty call?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
