U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
