Your tits are I can't wait for
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
