hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
