This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
