i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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