I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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