I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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