meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
