His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
