..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
