He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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