Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize