hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
